ecappaccino's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 322 - sospirando And despite everything, the only thing I don't trust in other people, no matter how close they are to me, is that they won't leave me. It's exactly the same the way I didn't trust you, for the longest time. And as for you, Rie, [ hours later ] Slept in my clothes on my bed, an unreasonable amount of paranoia and sleepiness mixed together. I didn't trust my blanket not to betray me (despite all the doses of insecticide over the last few days 'just to make sure') so I curled up in fetal position, twined around my pillow, and fell into fitful sleep and fearful of the cold - only to wake to the sound of rain pouring in torrents. Like people who wake up still drunk, I woke up five hours later still full of disquietudes and vaguely upset. I cannot be sure it rained - my grandparents were there - they might have been watering their garden, the hose blasting on the glass of my window in an absent moment. In an absent moment of my own, I manage to open all the healing blisters on my leg. I let myself drift back to sleep. Sol, after you, I don't forgive things as easily. (I think I hear applause all 'round). 2:27 am - 01-04-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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