ecappaccino's Diaryland Diary

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320 - onwards and upwards

[Janet] Frame commented that as people got older, they became more silent. I don't think I'll ever write one of these summary things again for a year. My memories fade into me now, thick with personal value. I cannot share, because I'm afraid there will be nothing left for me. There is no weight to memories anyway - I cannot rank them, and I can no longer impress them on others.

This is the last year of I'll be a child [in the State of Connecticut, at least...ha!].



1) Best memory:
Shopping with Amy for Christmas presents and underwear. It was the most ordinary thing, like coming full circle. My best friend from primary school and I doing something that we would probably be doing if we had kept up the friendship, on the very last day of high school. Also I think traveling in Australia between cities, and exploring new places was exhilarating.

2)Worst memory:
Grades. And the Talk my Physics teacher gave me after class.

3) List of things I like this year
Traveling
Company
Art photography / taking photographs
Writing short stories
Piano music
Glassware (like vases)
Ribbons
Cherries
Flowers
Sunny days

4) List of things I dislike:
Insect bites
Secretive people
Pretending something never happened
Myself, occasionally

5) The most memorable thing(s) this year:
The most poignant memory, actually: waking up one morning - not just any morning, an exact morning that I remember clearly - knowing something definite had changed, forever, even though the day was ordinary. Something was no longer just for fun - the world became dangerous.

6) What I'll always remember about this year:
People change the most during their seventeenth year. I'm no exception. I think this year I will look back on as an ominous year. Things are beginning to move forward as if rushing to a point. Actions and words lead to places that I can't seem to predict exactly anymore. Phrases like 'the rest of my life' became more defined. I found many lose ends and new starts both thrown on me, and by myself. And I became more ambiguous, and quieter.

7) Best thing that happened to me this year:
Graduating. Finally! I felt so stifled all year, as if I should have left with the previous graduating class.

8) Worst thing that happened to me this year:
The thing with Sol. : ) But it worked out okay in the end though, didn't it Sol?

9) Best Christmas present this year:
The CD holder (Thanks so much Charlotte! I'll miss working with you so much! Hope your last year at EGGS is everything you thought it would be when you were in third form!).

10) Person who I've changed my opinion about most dramatically this year:
Some people in my committee. I won't name names, and it only proves my point that had I met some people in a workplace situation as opposed to school, I would have clashed very miserably with them.

11) Thing I'm most proud of this year:
I'm not proud of anything this year. It's a year. It's gone. There is nothing left to keep.

12) People I feel most indebted to this year
Sol (for being herself, the chocolate on exam day, for learning to trust, for knowing and understanding me best, for good memories - there are so many of them).
Gaaythri (for being sensible, for her courage, for feeding me happy stories, for her advice, for kindness and shared smiles)
Yanan (for making me comfortable, for her stability, reassurance, constant friendship)
Nancy (for innocence)
Narie (for her tyranny, taxi services, company, stories, for her strange quirks like her love of artichoke flowers [aka protea], for giving me what exactly I needed sometimes without realizing it).?
Chris (For making me feel looked after overseas)
Mrs. R. Ali
(For being educational in so many ways)
Mrs. A. Govender (For being an inspirational woman).
My family (obviously)

New Year's Resolutions for 2006:

I never keep my resolutions, and I'm tired of promises that don't keep themselves. No resolutions. Not even the one you wanted me to make for myself, Sol. : )

11:56 pm - 12-31-05

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